How Much Does Riley Reiff’s Arm Length Really Matter?

As you may have read over the past few weeks since the draft, Lions 1st round pick Riley Reiff may have been a steal in the first round…or his stubby arms will prevent him from playing effectively at left tackle in the pros. Last week, Pro Football Weekly released a video discussing the pick.

While much has been made of his arms being “short,” not allowing him to keep defensive ends at bay as effectively, I’ve been wondering how a guy’s arms can go from being short at 33-1/4″ to being long at 34″ (See the cbssports.com scouting report of Jammal Brown, calling him a “long-limbed athlete”). While we can quibble over the difference that 3/4″ of arm makes, does arm length really matter that much in success as an NFL offensive tackle? One profootballfocus.com subscription and about 4 hours of scouring the internet later, I have the data at my disposal to answer that question (statistically speaking, anyway).

For those that don’t know about PFF, they watch every snap of every game and grade players according to their performance. Basically, they have all the statistics I always wished I had when I was writing game reviews last year. So taking the 2011 grades for every offensive tackle in football with over 300 snaps last year, and filling in the blanks of arm length (apparently this is much harder to find than I could have imagined when I came up with this idea), I made the following graph of PFF grade vs arm length.

Imagine my surprise when there was actually a negative slope on the curve fit to this data. I will say that this data is from 1 season only, and the correlation is pretty weak. But at best, this shows that having longer arms is a disadvantage and at worst it shows that there’s basically no correlation between arm length and success at tackle. Another interesting thing that you’ll note is that the majority of tackles in the NFL have arms between 33 and 34 inches, particularly among those with positive grades. So not only are “short” arms not a disadvantage, but they’re also not uncommon. A good counter argument that you might make is that including right tackles might bias the data. Many of the scouting reports I read claimed that Reiff may have to move to right tackle because of his arm deficiency. So maybe the short-armed right tackles are having success against the lesser pass rushers on the right side of the line. Okay, fair enough. PFF also lists whether these guys played left or right tackle, so I present you with exhibit 2, a chart showing only the left tackles.

Exhibit 2

This graph shows the same trend, even more convincingly. I can even break it down between pass block and run block grades.

Still, no dice. Any way you slice it, there’s nothing in these stats that indicates that longer arms are better for an offensive tackle. I for one, am glad Reiff’s short arms allowed him to fall to the bottom of the 1st round.

The Detroit Lions Draft Strategy

The draft has come and gone and the Lions front office now has their 4th draft class under their belt. They’ve made picks with everything from the worst roster in football history to a young, talented, playoff-caliber team. They’ve picked just about every position on the field and they’ve made picks from #1 overall to Mr. Irrelevant (the last pick in the draft). From this wealth of information, I feel comfortable pinpointing the Lions draft strategy. Pride of Detroit posted transcripts of the Schwartz and Mayhew press conferences after each of the picks, so I’ll be using quotes from those to back up my points.

Talent Rules the Board

First of all, the Lions don’t draft for need. They have stated this and their picks reflect that strategy as much as any team in the draft the past few years. You would be hard pressed to argue that Nick Fairley and Ryan Broyles were need picks. Both of those units were 3 players deep when those picks were made. In the press conference following the Broyles pick, Jim Schwartz had the following comment:

On how difficult it is to balance between taking the best player available if he’s your fourth-best receiver when there are players available that will have more opportunity to contribute: “Good players play. You don’t solve needs by drafting poor players. We said that last year when we were picking guys and we’ll keep on saying it. There’s discipline that goes in to it and you have to be able to stick with that philosophy. The philosophy is: talent rules the board. He’s a talented receiver that we have a good plan for that fits our offense and can do a lot of things for us.”

Clearly, this pick was based on talent rather than need. No team has a “need” for a 4th receiver, but the powerful offenses can certainly find a use for one. And later in the same press conference, he made this comment:

On whether he’s confident that there will be enough defensive help later in the draft to fill some of the needs they have on defense: “We’ll see. I think if you chase need you’re chasing a moving target. What looks like a need one day might not be a need another day. If you have the discipline to say, ‘Hey look, let’s get good football players that fit a philosophy that we have a plan for, that continue to be the highest rated guys on your board, then you’re going to be successful over the long run.’

In that quote, he talks about getting guys they have a plan for. He mentioned it again after the Lewis (the Greater), Whitehead, and Greenwood picks.

On whether they’re consciously focusing on defense today: “You’re reading too much into it to say that we’re focusing on it.

“Just get good players that you have a role for that fit your philosophy. That’s the focus. It’s not defense, or offense or any particular position. It’s having the opportunity to get those guys and taking them where they make the most sense on the board and sticking to the discipline of keep trying to get talent.”

So while they draft for need, they also draft guys that fit their philosophy (obviously) and guys that they have specific roles for. We’ve seen that with guys like Mikel Leshoure and Titus Young. Leshoure wasn’t just a talented back that could take the load off of Best and catch the ball (a necessity in Linehan’s offense). He’s a big back that gives you an inside power run game as a perfect complement to Jahvid Best’s speed.

Titus filled the #2 WR role for Linehan. He uses his quickness to create separation and his speed to stretch the field. He’s not a clone of CJ or Burleson, but he fills a different spot. These guys have clearly defined roles and that’s why they were picked. I also believe this to be one of the main reasons they didn’t draft a running back this year (along with the fact that the board just didn’t fall that way. after all, talent rules the board). They already have their running back roles filled. They have a speedy, pass-catching back that is deadly in the screen game and a power runner with quick feet between the tackles. Everyone agrees that if healthy, this group is solid. The only reason fans were clamoring for a new RB was because they were afraid of the health issue. Which brings me to my next point…

The Lions Don’t Care About Injuries

That’s right. They don’t worry about injuries. Everyone gets them. Injuries are so much more prevalent than most people realize that they constantly overestimate their effect. Injuries are the reason Brett Favre’s streak is amazing. Injuries are the reason for the “Madden curse” having any sort of legitimate argument (If you took any random sample of healthy and productive players, they’d tend to be injured the next year). The Lions use this fact to extract value from the draft. They knew that Best had special value on the field. When he fell because of his concussion history, the Lions made the value pick and took him.

This year, they got the NCAA all time leading receiver at the back of the 2nd round because of a common injury that will be completely healed by some point in training camp. Of course, there’s a limit to this. NFL Draft Scout rated Chris Polk as a 2nd round running back, but he went undrafted due to concerns about chronic shoulder and hip injuries. So while the Lions use injury history to their advantage in finding value, they also shy away when that injury history seriously affects the player’s future. However, injury isn’t the only way the Lions find value in the draft…

The Lions Don’t Care About Character

Every year, players drop for perceived character issues or intelligence problems. Last year, Nick Fairley was a top 5 talent who the Lions stole at #11 because of perceived character issues. This year, part of the reason that Ronnell Lewis (Lewis the Greater) was available where the Lions got him was some concern over his intelligence. Schwartz had the following to say:

On Lewis having been academically ineligible for the Insight.com Bowl: “He self-admittedly is not a real good student. It’s a good thing we don’t have any classes here. It was something that came up; it’s part of his resume so to speak. But we felt we had a good role for him; we felt he could fit that role and we were excited to get him.”

Of course, this also has a limit. As you may know (and may have clamored for), Janoris Jenkins was among the most talented cornerbacks available in this year’s draft, but fell to the 2nd round due to huge character concerns (3 arrests, 4 children with 3 different women, and a partidge in a pear tree). Because of all of those concerns, the Lions decided to pass on him in favor of a guy that spent the draft chilling in a barn. There are a lot of reasons that a pick can turn out to be a good value. Another that the Lions have exploited multiple times is…

The Lions Draft Freak Athletes From Small Schools

In 2009, the Lions spent a 4th round pick on a small school defensive tackle named Sammie Lee Hill. He was a man amongst boys in Divison II football at Stillman College (what? you’ve never heard of it?) and had both immense size (6’4″, 330lbs) and incredible quickness.

The only thing holding him back from a high draft pick status was the level of competition. He has developed into a solid rotational DT and would probably be contributing more if not for 2 top 11 draft picks and another Mayhew trade gem taking snaps from him. Again this year, the Lions utilized the same strategy in selecting Chris Greenwood out of Division III (yes, 3) Albion College (sudden interest generated from the Lions draft pick crashed Albion College’s website). He became the first played drafted from the Michigan Intercollegiate Athletic Association since 1967. He’s 6’2″, 193lbs (great size for a cornerback) and he ran a sub-4.4 40 yard dash (great speed for a corner) with a 43″ vertical leap (great jumping for a corner). So he’s big enough to be physical with a WR, fast enough to stay with them, and can jump high enough to defend the passes thrown to them. So that’s all well and good for a developmental corner, but I saw one thing while working on this post that makes me even more excited. This is an excerpt from a interview with Martin Mayhew on Fox 2 Detroit:

On cornerback Chris Greenwood:
“He’s a guy who has been on our radar for a long time. He’s very gifted athletically — has size, speed, athleticism. We think he’s a real good press corner right now. His game will develop with time, but he’s a really talented guy.”

A good press corner right now? You mean not developmental? So we’re talking about a good press cover corner with enough size, speed, and athleticism to match up with any WR in football for a 5th round draft pick? Sounds like good value to me.

And now, the discussion…

So that’s it for the big bullet points. The Lions draft the best players that fit their schemes and that they have a role for. In a future post, I hope to look into what those specific roles are (Hoorayyyy, teaser).

For now, I’d like to discuss the implications of this approach. Essentially, when you disagree with a draft pick under this philosophy, you’re either disagreeing with the philosophy as a whole or you don’t trust the Lions’ scouting department. Considering the Lions have devoted more resources to scouting than anyone other than maybe the 31 other teams in the league and they’ve been largely successful, I’m going to go ahead and give them the benefit of the doubt there.

At first, I didn’t like this draft. I couldn’t believe the Lions spent the whole offseason just trying to retain their free agents and ignoring the rest of the field and then had the audacity to pick offensive players in the first 2 rounds. I’ll explain that side of my argument first. If you’re drafting well and trying to retain your players indefinitely, their salaries will continue to rise, year after year. Soon, your talented core will squeeze you up against the cap so that 1/4 of your players take up 3/4 of your cap. So fine, you can focus on retaining those guys  instead of going after big name free agents. I’m fine with that. As an Atlanta Braves fan, I’ve always been a fan of drafting and development. But the problem then comes with filling your needs. If you ignore it in free agency and your draft is a positional dart board, you’re counting on luck to fill your holes. Player for player trades don’t often happen in football, so your can’t trade from a strength to fill a weakness. If you’re weak at corner, you’re going to continue to be weak at corner unless the wheel of fortune spins your way.

For a few days during and after the draft, I spewed this viewpoint to anyone that would listen. It still makes me wonder. I don’t know if there’s a correct answer. But I’m starting to realize that it’s not so black and white. There are other ways to acquire talent. Aaron Berry was an undrafted free agent. Alphonso Smith was acquired in a trade for Dan Gronkowski (7th rounder). And in the later rounds of the draft, talent can even out and needs can be addressed:

On whether drafting six straight defensive players was coincidental: “Pretty much, yeah.”

“What happens is, the further down the draft you get, the more players you get that are at the same level. The higher you go up in the draft, there’s differences between the talent, the farther you get down, but it really didn’t matter. It was opportunity and it was chances to get guys that fit profiles of what we wanted and we had plans for.

“Again, it doesn’t do a whole lot of good to draft a guy that you really don’t have a plan for or doesn’t fit what you’re looking for in a position, regardless of how much talent he has. As much as we say, ‘Talent rules the board,’ it’s talent that fits us and we thought all those opportunities were good for us.”

Again, they’re still picking the most talented guys. But if it’s all the same, maybe they’ll lean to filling needs. And if you’re good at scouting (the Lions are), you’ll always be stacked with talent with the BPA strategy. What do you think? Need or BPA? Some mix of both? Comment away. I’m sick of having 140 character twitter arguments and as far as I know, the comments on this blog are uncapped for length.

The Offseason: The Version of Football That Involves Feet

So it’s the offseason. It took me a while to get over the crushing blow of the Saints game, and I’m still not going to write about it. What I’d like to do instead is offer up something completely off-topic for you to do this offseason because the next football-relevant thing is the draft in late April. Three months of obsessing will just leave you disappointed when the Lions draft the one guy you’ve never heard of and you’re convinced they made his name up (Gosder Cherilus). You’ll hate it when they take best player available, since it will undoubtedly be a wide receiver, leaving their secondary with another year to be ignored in the 1st round.

Anyway, the off-topic thing. Today, I’m going to convince you football fans to become…football fans. Yes, I mean soccer. You probably all know that soccer and football are somehow related (the name is one clue), but you probably don’t know how. Wikipedia tells me that soccer and rugby split because when the freemasons were deciding the rules (something like that) one guy didn’t like that he wouldn’t be allowed to kick people in the shins (Suh was just trying to stay true to the roots of the game) or carry the ball any more, so he broke off and created rugby. Somewhere along the line, American football was developed in the US as an adaptation of that. So football is like that crazy nephew that the rest of the soccer family looks down upon because he dropped out of school and went to jail. Anyway, a history lesson probably isn’t going to convince you to like soccer, so I’ll tell you why you should like it.

You probably have all sorts of pre-programmed insults about soccer. You say there’s not enough scoring, players flop too much, there are too many ties, america’s not good at it, it’s too boring, real men don’t wear shorts (maybe I made that one up, but I’ll disprove it). I’ll try to take on each of those and then some and see if I can get you to at least watch a game.

Too Low-Scoring

So you think soccer is too low-scoring? Tell that to the US women’s national team, who beat the Dominican Republic 14-0 two weeks ago.

Of course, that’s not a typical score, but let’s compare soccer to the NFL. In the English Premier League (one of the best leagues in the world), there was an average of 2.77 goals scored per game. In the NFL this past season, there were an average of 4.9 TDs per game scored. Including halftime, soccer lasts 105 minutes, a little over an hour and a half. An NFL game typically takes somewhere on the order of 3 hours. So soccer has an average of about 1.58 goals per hour, while the NFL has 1.63 TDs per hour. Not much difference there, except that TDs are worth 7 points. Just multiply a soccer score by 7 in your head if you just want to see big numbers. Of course, teams can score from field goals or safeties too, but are you really ever that excited about a field goal unless it’s a game winner?

And soccer is played straight through. 90 minutes of soccer takes 90 minutes. 60 minutes of football takes 3 hours. If you want non-stop action, soccer is literally the definition of that, since the clock doesn’t stop.

Players Flop Too Much

This happens in football too. Guys try to play the officials, use the rules to their advantage, and gain the upper hand. The world champion New York Giants even pulled it off.

Sure, it can be obnoxious. It annoys me when Aaron Rodgers cries to the refs and gets a flag thrown on the Lions. It annoys me when the Lions defensive linemen are held because the refs can’t see it. At the very least, soccer players are more creative and entertaining when they play the officials.

Too Many Ties

You’re right. I can’t quite get over this one. But you know what? Sometimes teams are pretty much equally matched. Allowing ties is probably more representative of the teams’ true talent levels when you consider their overall season record. And when soccer does need an outcome, like elimination games, they do it right. Overtime period followed by a shootout? What’s more intense than that?

This was from the women’s World Cup in 2011, where the US took on Brazil. The game went to overtime, the US tied it up in stoppage time of overtime, and won in a penalty shootout. This was probably the greatest game I’ve ever watched in any sport.

America’s Not Good At It

That’s why I’m writing this post. Duh! Get Interested! America’s best athletes are all being funneled into American sports. Do you wonder why the US isn’t the best in the world at badminton or fencing or raquetball (it turns out the US is completely dominant at raquetball, so bad example)? While all of the best athletes in the rest of the world play soccer, Americans are over here wasting our talents in football and baseball, which most of the rest of the world just flat out don’t care about. Imagine if you had Calvin Johnson playing flying past his opposition on the wing. Imagine Jason Hanson lofting a free kick into the box from 50 yards away. The US would be great at soccer if people cared. Even now, the US has very good players at the highest stage of international soccer. Clint Dempsey is the star midfielder/forward for Fulham in the English Premier League. Landon Donovan recently received a transfer from the LA Galaxy to Everton (also in the EPL) and has 4 assists in his past 4 games, including one to defeat the league-leading Manchester City this past Tuesday. More and more Americans are getting the call and breaking down the stereotype shared worldwide that Americans aren’t good at soccer. Maybe we need to stop caring about being the absolute best in the world at something. This way seems better to me. It gives me some pride as an American to be looked down upon and to see my fellow Americans prove the doubters wrong. But then again, I’m also obsessed with the Olympics, so I guess being patriotic about random sports is just my thing.

Real Men Don’t Wear Shorts

If shorts are manly enough for Jean-Claude Van Damme, they're manly enough for you.

Case closed.

Soccer is Boring

If you think soccer is boring, then you don’t watch soccer.

Do you like watching Calvin Johnson fly past defenders and beat triple coverage? Then you’ll like this goal.

Do you like watching the individual skill that you see in basketball? Then you should watch Ronaldinho.

Do you like long touchdown passes, full court shots, or monster home runs? Then you’ll like Tim Howard’s (another American in the EPL!) goal last month against Bolton.

Who Should I Watch?

So hopefully, all of this has gotten you at least intrigued enough to watch some games. You’re probably foaming at the mouth to watch some awesome soccer. Right? Maybe? Please? So where do you turn? Well there happens to be a great game on this afternoon at 3PM eastern time. 3rd place Tottenham Hotspur (my adopted favorite team) vs. 7th place Liverpool (Ty‘s adopted favorite team).  The game will be televised on ESPN2 and ESPN3, so if you have the chance to turn it on, it’ll definitely be worth a look.

If you can’t watch today, this weekend has a whole host of good games, including Manchester United vs. Liverpool (…at 7:30 AM eastern…yikes) which will be televised on ESPN2 and ESPN3. Alternatively, you could go with Barcelona in the Spanish pro league, probably one of the 2 or 3 best teams in the world this Saturday 2/11 against Osasuna on ESPN3 at 2PM EST (much more manageable time). Barcelona even features the best player in the world in Lionel Messi. He’s like Michael Vick if Vick was tiny, white, didn’t abuse dogs, was generally well-liked and appreciated, didn’t have to throw the football, and just got to juke people all day long. Like that.

Anyway, enjoy your offseason. Take it as an opportunity to get into something new. I would love it if you came to enjoy soccer (more games televised for me to watch), but it can be anything. Try doing a puzzle, running a 5K, playing broomball, or playing indoor soccer. It can be anything…but please don’t start speculating on the draft yet.

A Puncher’s Chance

Every year that I’ve been a Lions fan (since the Harrington/Mooch era, mind you), I’ve known something about my team that no one in the national media knew or cared to know. I would yell at the TV because ESPN’s analysts couldn’t be bothered to say anything positive or hopeful about the Lions. I always told myself that these Lions were different and they’d prove the doubters wrong. They had found that magic formula that just snuck under the radar because ESPN operates like an old boy’s club and always take the proven winner over the up-and-comer. Every year, that particular incarnation of the Lions let me down, showing the bullies that they could keep picking on the little guy.

This year’s Lions are different. And just like every year before, I knew it all along. I knew that Matt Stafford was the first Lions QB I’ve ever seen that could consistently put up that line that I would always see in the opponents column of the box score (You know, the 19-25, 300 yards, 3 TDs, 1 INT line). I knew that Calvin Johnson was the best wide receiver in the NFL. I knew that Delmas could chase down the Kentucky Derby winner if given a chance and I knew that Suh could beat Mark Schlereth like a drum if he was man enough to shut up and try to block the Lions D-line. I knew that this Lions team was a playoff contender – a Superbowl contender even. I knew that they could hang with the best teams in the country. The difference comes in that this year’s Lions have proven me right and are earning the respect that they deserve. If you’re reading this and you’re a Lions fan, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Ty at The Lions in Winter predicted that Matt Stafford would be a top 5 QB. Little did he know that Stafford would be a top 5 QB in history (at least by yardage). Jeremy at Detroit OnLion knew the Stafford to CJ combination would be solid gold.

So now the Lions need to keep this going. They need to pull out this game where the entire nation is betting against them (10.5 point dogs at the moment). And they need to do it not to prove the doubters wrong, but to prove the believers right. They need to win this game so that Lions fans can shove it in the faces of everyone that made fun of them during 0-16, so that they can say “oh you’re a saints fan, hahaha” like I’ve heard a million times about my Lions fanhood. They need to knock media darling Drew Brees on his ass and travel back to Lambeau to face their ultimate demons. If that paragraph didn’t get you fired up, then this video absolutely will:

(This one is for my sister, who has tried desperately to get me to include this all year)

And so now that you’re sufficiently amped (or psyched, as kids of my generation would say), you’re in the right frame of mind to listen to my game prediction. If you pay attention to the Lions blogosphere, you’ll have already seen statistics-based predictions like Ty’s Watchtower and Jeremy’s On Paper preview. You may have also seen PFT picking the Lions on a whim. And then you’ve probably heard all of ESPN’s non-believers take the Saints because of that old boy’s club thing that I mentioned.

But a couple of phrases I’ve heard from quite a few people are “punchers chance” referring to the Lions and “machine” when referring to the passing game of the Saints. And of course, that leads me to the greatest movie of all time (I’m sure I’ve said that about 10 or 15 different movies since starting this blog), Rocky IV. Not only do I own the VHS of this classic, but it is also the oldest surviving listing on my DVR.

The puncher, in this case, is of course Rocky:

Meanwhile, the machine is the stone-faced, man of few words, Ivan Drago:

In case you haven’t seen the movie, the story goes like this: Drago comes to America and fights a retired Apollo Creed, beating him to such a pulp that Apollo dies. Ivan Drago weighs in on the situation, “If he dies…he dies.”

Rocky then comes out of retirement to avenge Apollo’s death, having to travel to Russia (New Orleans) to fight Ivan Drago on his home turf (the Superdome). No one thinks Rocky can win. There are some training montages, some part of the story where Adrian further inspires Rocky, etc. Ivan Drago injects steroids, Rocky counters by yelling “DRAGOOOOOO” from the top of a mountain.

When they finally fight, the Russian comes out strong, attacking Rocky with a surgical precision (sound familiar?). The ring-side announcer mentions, “He’s not only fighting what appears to be an invincible opponent…he’s also fighting a very hostile crowd, the Russian Premier, and most of the Politburo are looking on.” Rocky claws his way back and catches Drago with a big right hook to open a gash over his left eye, to which Rocky’s corner man comments, “You cut him! You hurt him! You see? You see? He’s not a machine! He’s a man!” and Drago comments, “He’s not human…He is like a piece of iron.”

Rocky guts it out in a tough fight where both opponents are obviously physically exhausted, trading blow for blow until the final round, where Rocky lands a knockout blow, winning the fight, winning over the crowd, and ending the cold war (I admit, the movie doesn’t make a ton of sense, but that’s what’s great about it).

You see, the Lions are the underdogs, on the road, facing the superhuman. They’ve been counted out by everyone except those that have been with them all along. They’re up against not only the Saints, but also a very hostile crowd, the commissioner, and most of the referees. On Saturday, the Lions will take on the Saints in a matchup where the Saints are superior on paper. But you know what? I believe that the Lions will prove that the Saints are human and I’m betting the Saints will be surprised by just how tough this Lions team is. My prediction is that the Lions will win, winning over the national media, and ending the cold war (I admit, my prediction doesn’t make a ton of sense, but that’s what’s great about it).

From where I sit, a puncher’s chance is just what the Lions need to take down the Saints this Saturday.

NFL’s Selective Morality

The NFL loves storylines. ESPN and FOX love them even more. They garner viewers, drum up interest in the upcoming games, and give their analysts something to sound intelligent about. As a football fan, that all sounds great to me. When the lights went out at Candlestick Park on Monday Night Football a few weeks ago, listening to Chris Berman talk about absolutely nothing was among the most excruciating football experiences of my life. If that never has to happen again, the world will be a better place for it. Storylines give the analysts a nice, well constructed outlet to mask their improv deficiencies.

But all too often, the storylines are made up, inferred, or stretched to the point where they’re indistinguishable from the original incident. Here’s a good example:

After Tom Brady put up 517 yards and 4 TDs on Miami earlier this year, Chad Ochocinco tweeted, “Just waking up after a late arrival, I’ve never seen a machine operate like that n person, to see video game numbers put up n person was WOW,” which for some reason drew the ire of Teddy Bruschi. Of course, everyone on ESPN followed suit and it became a major storyline, despite the idiocy of Bruschi’s outrage.

Aside from the stories being clearly manufactured on occasion, there is also a big problem with storyline bias and selectivity. This is where the Lions come in. Much was made of Ndamukong Suh’s stomp on Thanksgiving. All of a sudden, everyone in sports media grew morals, saying Suh is a dirty player, deserves to be suspended (or even thrown out of football), and needs to learn to control himself.

Something something something dark side...

Sure, maybe you agree with them. But I’m going to delve into this one to share my opinion. First a screenshot:

In this picture, you’ll notice Suh’s foot has just landed on Evan Dietrich-Smith’s arm, while Suh’s head is whipping to the side. If there’s anything that professional wrestling has taught us in this world, it is that you spot your landing when you stomp, as you’ll see in this photo.

Think about it. Go out and try it. Stomp on something. Were you looking at it? To me this looks more like Suh was kicking and flailing wildly to get away from 3 guys pushing, holding, and grabbing him. Sure it looked like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum, but it didn’t look like a deliberate stomp to the guy’s arm to me. While trying to find a video to illustrate my point, I came across this completely unrelated and completely awesome video.

Another thing to note is Dietrich-Smith’s reaction. He doesn’t writhe in pain. He doesn’t grab at his arm. In fact, he acts as if he didn’t feel the stomp. Take a look at the video to see for yourself:

Anyway, if you don’t agree with me and think Suh’s suspension was warranted, let me shed some light on some other incidents that got almost no press whatsoever, drew no moral outrage, and didn’t play into one of ESPN’s storylines.

The first occurred on October 23^rd, 2011. That is just over a month before the Suh stomp incident. Here’s the video:

In this video, you clearly see Brian Robison of the Minnesota hit T.J. Lang of the Packers with a very rough looking kick to the pieces. The shot lifted Lang off of the ground. How he didn’t leave the field on a cart is beyond me. But did this become a lasting storyline defining the Vikings as a team? Did Robison become ESPN’s public enemy #1? No. Instead, it was laughed about on ESPN’s “C’mon Man!” segment.

You may say, well that’s just a media outlet doing their best to satisfy viewers. But the NFL isn’t innocent in this. Brian Robison was not thrown out of the game. He was not suspended. He was fined $20,000…That’s it. To me, Suh’s infraction isn’t as bad as this one, yet Suh received a 2-game suspension without pay (costing him approximately $164,000), causing him to miss the saints game, contributing to a Lions loss.

Another incident that I noticed (that almost no one commented on), was this past week in San Diego. With 55 seconds left in the 3^rd quarter, Matt Stafford completed a pass to Tony Scheffler. As Scheffler went to the ground to catch the ball, Takeo Spikes came up alongside him and gave Scheffler a swift knee/kick to the ribs/arm. I can’t find the video to share, so I made a GIF from some screenshots.

There was no penalty, no suspension, no fine, and no mention of this at any point by the league, the media, or anyone but a few vigilant Lions fans on twitter. In my mind, this one is also in the same league as Suh’s stomp. No injury, questionable intent, but also no media attention and no backlash. When the media harps on the “undisciplined Lions” storyline so much, you get confirmation bias and all of a sudden you notice things that wouldn’t be a big deal otherwise. Three offensive pass interference calls in one game on Nate Burleson? Undisciplined Lions. Can’t be that the refs are making one bad call after another. The NFL needs to become more consistent in their punishment if they continue to ramp up their strict rule policies. Uneven enforcement leaves the league wide open to rampant corruption and alienation of fans.

PLAYOFFS?!?

PLAYOFFS!?!

Don't talk about...

PLAYOFFS

You kiddin' me?

PLAYOFFS!?!

I just hope we can win a game...

Not a game...

We talkin' 'bout practice, man.

Wait…mixed rants there for a second. (Jim Mora and Allen Iverson, in case you didn’t know)

So the Lions clinched a playoff birth for the first time since 1999. Time for some fist pumping…

But like this post began…don’t talk about playoffs. I just hope we can win a game.

It all comes down to week 17. Here’s how the playoff picture looks right now, excluding ties.

• The Packers have clinched the #1 seed.
• The #2/#3 seeds are the Saints and the 49ers.
• The #4 seed is the NFC East winner (Giants or Cowboys).
• The #5/#6 seeds are the Lions and Falcons.

For now, let’s say we don’t care about the top 2 seeds. They both get 1st round byes and for now…I just hope we can win a game. In the first round, the #3 seed plays the #6 seed and the #4 seed plays the #5 seed. In week 17, SF plays STL (the worst team in the NFC) and NO plays CAR, so I’ll work on the assumption that New Orleans is the #3 seed. In the choice between New Orleans and the Giants/Cowboys, I’ll take the latter any day of the week in the first playoff. To play that team, the Lions need to win or the Falcons need to lose next week. The Falcons play Tampa Bay next week (one of the weakest teams in the NFC), so like I said, I just hope we can win a game. With a win over the Packers next week, the Lions have an easier 1st round game, and hopefully a win. But if they fall to the Packers’ backups in Lambeauiouoeau, the Lions will have to go through essentially the best 2 teams in the NFC in the Saints and Packers to make the Superbowl. But no matter what happens, one thing I’m sure I’ll see within 3 weeks is something that we should all be able to appreciate…

For now, let’s just say the Lions need to hold back on celebrating…

…a hope for a little bit of luck.

Superman and the Champ

In the words of George Costanza…

I’m back, baby! I’m back!

Depending on your musical preference, feel free to listen to one of the following songs while you read.

I think that pretty well covers the spectrum. I tried to look up rapper rivalries on Wikipedia for the sake of hip hop political correctness, but there’s no mention of Detroit and LL Cool J having any sort of riff.

Alright, so we’re now completely in the middle of football season. Who knew that also meant that we were in the middle of fluid mechanics conference season, midterm season, and fellowship application season? Anyway, I should be back in some capacity until finals hit, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

First of all, I wanted to apologize for the Lions’ poor play of late. Of course you faithful readers have noticed by now that the Lions were undefeated from the time I started this blog until my hiatus started. So while you can blame me for not continuing to write, you can blame my sister for the jinx (1-3 in her tenure, I believe).

Okay, so what is this post actually about? I know some of you like the stat breakdowns, but those are horribly time consuming and my celebration breakdowns are clearly more educational. Since the break between the Panthers and Packers game is so short (and most likely to be filled with more conferences and tons of turkey-eating), I’ll just go ahead and lump together two of the cockiest, most self absorbed, most ripped-off celebrations in the NFL. Of course I’m talking about Cam Newton’s Superman and Aaron Rodgers’s championship belt.

Let’s start with Cam. Here’s a picture for the uninitiated.

The problem with this one? The man has too much teeth. Now I know what you’re thinking – Does that sentence make sense? He should have written “too many teeth”. But here’s what I’m saying. He probably doesn’t have a greater number of teeth than a human version of him would have (although maybe he’s like a shark with rows and rows of them). What I’m saying is that the sheer volume of teeth is overwhelming. His tooth density per unit mouth is just way too high. Here’s a nice standup routine to explain why that’s a bad thing.

Okay, so Cam Newton just can’t thug it out hard enough. He’s gotta thug it out a little bit harder. But in general, it’s not a good idea to do pretend to be Superman. Here’s what Dane Cook has to say.

Okay, so even while he’s not sufficiently able to thug it out, he could be shot for his efforts. Sounds like a bad celebration. My other problem with this dance is that it’s a ripoff, and a poor one at that. The former Lions’ own Shaun Rogers used to perform a much better version of the Superman celebration. Unfortunately, the internet has erased all evidence of this except for a single picture that I found.

This was a nice version of it, where he’d begin by flicking off a few buttons and then violently rip the rest of the shirt off. I have to think this is exactly what Superman in a hurry would look like (plus a few pounds). Cam, on the other hand, is clearly doing it to pose rather than to celebrate through actions. It’s an insult to the true celebrations out there. And to think, this isn’t even Shaun Rogers’s best dance…

No hungry hungry hippos jokes, I promise.

Okay, on to the “champ.”  Here’s a video of the dance.

Whenever I’ve seen this, I can’t help but think, he definitely stole this from someone whose name is a lot more awesome than his, right? Someone with a name like Iron Sheik or Gorilla Monsoon or The Undertaker. So I did some digging. I have come to learn the tricks of the internet. However much they want to throw you off the trail with things like the “Celebration Ostomy Support Belt”, I can still manage to prove my point. I’ll start out slow – a football-related robbery. On the famous 4^th-and-26 play (it has its own Wikipedia page) where Donovan McNabb completed a pass to Freddie Mitchell, FredEx (more awesome name than Aaron Rodgers) celebrated with the championship belt. Click the link and you’ll see a video. If you checked out the Wikipedia page, you’ll notice that this celebration predated Rodgers’s entire NFL career. This seems like a moment Aaron Rodgers wouldn’t want to remind Packers fans of considering it knocked them out of the playoffs. So this has been done before. But it doesn’t stop there. Clearly, this motion originated in some way with boxing/wrestling/martial arts given that they generally have big belts. I knew I had seen this motion in UFC footage, but couldn’t place it. After days of searching, I finally stumbled across it. George Rush St. Pierre (obviously he’s Canadian and his name is still way more awesome than Aaron Rodgers) performed this maneuver after defeating Josh Koscheck (the guy that looks like a muppet and/or Bob Ross).

Here’s a video if the entire fight in case you want the proof (the belting begins at 19:44). For those that don’t care to watch modern day wrasslin’, here’s a blurry screenshot.

This is the only photo or video evidence I could find of the belt celebration. Maybe next week I’ll prove that the loch ness monster exists. I’m that good.

On a more technical note, I do have to give Rodgers credit for execution. Personally, I liked this celebration until the Packers started to matter to the Lions as division rivals. Now, all bets are off. I can’t stand it. And this dance isn’t without criticism. Mike McCarthy (Packers head coach) thought it was a sexual gesture for a while.

All in all, hopefully the Lions turn Cam Newton into a Superbleeder and make Aaron Rodgers cry like Rampage Jackson (much more awesome name than Aaron) when they smash him and take his belt.

Lions Almost-FightWatch: Tebowing up in your personal space

Elissa here. Nate is still on hiatus, so I’m back with my prediction for tomorrow’s game. I’m ill equipped to actually make predictions about the outcome of the game itself, but I love talking about fighting (I’m from Jersey), so I’d like to talk about what might happen tomorrow if tensions start running high and a brawl breaks out.

Last weekend, Tim Tebow dropped to one knee and prayed while his teammates celebrated an unlikely Denver victory over Miami, inspiring legions of fans to perform similar gestures in unlikely places, a trend now known as “Tebowing.”

From tebowing.com

I know Tim Tebow is a man of God, but I’m convinced that he’s ready to fight. Check out this his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live (sorry about the ad):

I’m not convinced that Chuck Norris never taught Tebow the roundhouse kick. I suspect he might secretly know it and be concealing it as his secret weapon.

Tebow tries to look like a nice boy, but he can get a little crazy:

Last Sunday, Tebow kisssed Demaryius Thomas after Thomas caught a touchdown pass. So maybe he’s a lover, not a fighter, but still, if I were Jim Schwartz, I’d try my best to get my team motivated, just in case. I might even bring in this guy:

Who’s got two thumbs and can (professionally) shake the heck out of some hands?

This guy.

Nate is off to the Netherlands for his science-y thing for school, so I, his older sister Elissa, am back to talk to you about what I know best: social graces.

In a freep article about the building anticipation for the Smith-Schwartz handshake, Falcons linebacker Stephen Nicholas, when asked a question about the potential for handshake-based tension, says, “No, Coach Smith is a tough guy, so he can handle his own. I’m pretty sure he’s a professional at that, shaking hands, so no worries, no worries.” I’m learning all sorts of things about football. What a curious sport: it’s the professional handshake that becomes the true test of toughness! I can’t wait for Sunday.

I just googled “handshakes” and learned a lot that filled me with terror. Apparently, there are a lot of incorrect/occult ways to shake hands. Handshakes, as we know more than ever this week, are charged with meaning. They’re can also be a great way to say hello, so I urge Jim Harbaugh to work on his technique, so he can bring sunshine into the world, like these guys.

When I was a federal government intern in D.C. in college, I learned a lot about the right and wrong ways to shake hands. Since I’m female, it was mostly like this: the right way is firm and confident, almost manly but still slightly feminine, while the wrong way is wimpy or girly, dead-fish-like, or sweaty. There was no danger that our handshakes would start fights. When I googled “handshake video,” I was surprised at how many of the results were for the Jims video. Is this something that men have to worry about when they shake hands? Is there a constant fear that a handshake might turn ugly and start a riot?

In a word, yes.

The Professional

But if I were Jim Schwartz, I wouldn’t worry too much about Mike Smith. He reminds me of one of those guys who pretend they aren’t trying to cut me in line at my neighborhood Starbucks on their way to the Seattle Tennis Club, where they’ll network hang out with guys who know Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, who lives down the road. That headset could be swapped out with a bluetooth.

I don’t really think Jim Schwartz has anything to worry about on Sunday, but just in case, I would highly recommend that he study the following video:

I mean, really–who’s got two thumbs, hails from Baltimore, probably learned to scrap pretty well at his all-boys Catholic school and could totally take a guy with bleach-blonde hair in a post-game fight originating from a handshake gone bad?

This guy.

Schwartz vs. Harbaugh: Battle of the Jims

While I’m on an official Hiatus (it’s official, so it gets capitalized), I’ve noticed that many of you loyal viewers are still visiting my blog. To thank you and encourage you to continue reading, I’ve decided to commission a series of posts from my sister. If you read my first Tony Scheffler Watch post, you’ll know that my sister is half writer / half UW adjunct instructor. While that last sentence made her sound like a superhuman (debatable), she really is an excellent writer and I hope you’ll read some of her many shameless plugs for her other writing endeavors. Now, in trying to decide what the topic of this series of posts should be, I stumbled upon a freep article and the following quote:

Are we going to have to add this matchup to the Lions’ weekly scouting report? Which coach would win in a postgame fight?

Challenge accepted. And now I will hand over the keys to my sister.

My name is Elissa, and I am Nate’s older sister. I do not know anything about football. I find it overwhelming. I’m a writer and a University of Washington adjunct teacher, and several of my former students have gone on to play in the NFL. Sometimes, I watch football on Sundays. I eat chips and guacamole and ribs until I pass out, then I wake up and say, “There’s Mason!” then pass out again. My brother, while on hiatus, has asked me to cover a very important event: apparently two coaches got mad at each other and it’s a big deal. He sent me a link to a video and I would now like to give you my take on it.I have not yet woken up early enough to catch a Lions game this year, so I had to Google image search “Jim Schwartz” and “Jim Harbaugh” to make sure I recognized the dudes I need to watch out for. I also have to watch this clip without sound because I am watching it at work. I did quickly figure out who Jim Harbaugh was, because he (1) has a Rams logo on his jacket and (2) the cameraman makes it pretty easy for me by focusing on him. So a bunch of football goes on and then Harbaugh wets his pants over it starting around 0:23, even untucking his shirt in the frenzy (reason for that unclear–he actually appears to reach for his shirt and untuck it, perhaps to show us he’s letting loose). He’s all arm-raising, getting a little grabby, and then he goes in for the Schwartz handshake at 0:31. But this isn’t the gentlemen’s handshake of fencers after a bout–this is the handshake of a department store worker who is trying to disassemble a mannequin, limb by limb, before stuffing it into a box to put up a new display. Then a slap on Schwartz’s back like the guy’s got a piece of steak stuck in his windpipe.

But Schwartz looks at the guy like he doesn’t appreciate the uninvited Heimlich. Remember, I’m at work right now, I don’t have the sound on, and I know we can’t hear what the guy said anyway, but Harbaugh has his mouth open like he’s a freshman pledge ready for his keg-stand, and Schwartz is looking like the elder frat brother who needs the guy to stop saying, once and for all, That’s what she said. No, Harbaugh’s offense must be much worse, because Schwartz yells back at him. Maybe the guy quoted the movie Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Something unforgivable like that.

And then the whole scene devolves into chaos. A bunch of guys from both teams, plus some randoms, crowd around and run to the edge of the field, in that way like they’re pretending to try to break it up but really they’re totally into it and want to get in on the action. Come on–aggression is their job. They totally want to fight. They just beat the unstoppable Detroit Lions. Someone brings the first down marker to the edge of the crowd at 1:29, presumably to mark that that an altercation has nearly taken place, in case nobody noticed, which everybody did. Then the clip ends.

So I just put on my headphones and did a quick listen to the whole thing. Thank goodness I have announcers to tell me what to think–though, actually, this reminds me of why Dad used to listen to baseball and football games on mute when we were growing up. I just learned some things: (1) Schwartz doesn’t like boyish exuberance; (2) what I saw is not correct; what really happened was, “Schwartz says something to him briefly, and then this ensues,” Schwartz being the agent here–my bad, bro; (3) when football players prepare to fistfight, they apparently wear helmets. I buy (1), although what the announcer calls “boyish exuberance,” I would call “being a tool.” I do not buy (2) because Harbaugh obviously said something inappropriate–did you see Schwartz’s face? He looked at Harbaugh like the guy had just insulted his mother. And (3)…Well, those are some precious craniums. Better bolstered than busted.

My final word on the fight? Boys will be boys. Coaches too. Nothing to see here. As a Pac-10 teacher, I meet football players when they’re figuring out who they’re going to be when they grow up, and they make me proudest when I see them grow out of their boyish exuberance and become true athletes.

Elissa blogs at http://washuta.net/blog