The Tony Scheffler Watch: Return to San Francisco

Welcome to the return of the Tony Scheffler Watch. Last year, as you may know, a trip to the Netherlands and my studies derailed this wonderful series just as the 49ers came to town. While that was unfortunate, I did collect a few resources to put a piece together and Tony Scheffler didn’t score a TD that week, so everything is still relevant. But before I get into the 49ers predictions, let me first reflect on what might have been had Tony Scheffler scored against the Rams.

Ram It

No, I’m not going to talk about Gangnam Style (we’ll save that for later). Instead, I’ll introduce you to a video that I stumbled across. This video is just one in a series of hilarious and ear-bleedingly wonderful custom music videos featuring NFL teams singing, dancing and rapping. While the “Superbowl Shuffle” gets the most exposure, the Lions play 12 games against teams this year with similar songs or videos. You can bet these will be a regular occurrence in the Tony Scheffler Watch.

This video has everything you’d expect out of an 80s music video starring random members of a football team. Aside from the truly awful lyrics, and the complete inability of these players to dance, why would they let the white guys rap? Still, this would have been an obscure reference and tough to squeeze a memorable dance out of, so even if Scheffler had scored, it’s tough to see this one getting off the ground. Let’s move on to week 2.

We Are the 49ers

While the Superbowl Shuffle is the commercial peak (although artistically, there are far better), the trend really started with the 49ers:

Sadly, this is just a song instead of a full on music video, so alas, no dancing. Luckily, we only had to wait just a few years for the Niners to make the same mistake (but in video form):

This one is really bad. Just awful. Jerry Rice, what were you thinking? This is a stain on your otherwise illustrious career. Anyway, aside from the little animation thing or whatever it is Jerry Rice did, there isn’t a distinctive dance to be taken from the whole video. And again, obscure reference.

Oh those 49ers. They just don’t learn.

They really don’t learn.

They really really don’t learn.

Seriously? This team has 5 rap anthems since the 1980s. Yes, I listened to them all in their entirety. No, none of them should exist. Still, between them, no memorable dance moves. Just plenty of reason to laugh at the 49ers. I’d say it’s time to move on.

Gold Mining

From Wikipedia:

The name “49ers” comes from the name given to the gold prospectors who arrived in Northern California around 1849 during the California Gold Rush. The name was suggested to reflect the voyagers who had rushed the West for gold.

So the natural inclination would be to mimic gold mining. I was all ready to make this prediction last year, had I had time to write the piece. I would have been partially right. While Scheffler didn’t score, Nate Burleson did, and he busted out the dance moves. Near the beginning of the 4th quarter, Nate Burleson caught a touchdown pass in the back of the endzone. In celebration, he pantomimed panning for gold and finding a nugget. The video can be seen here. I doubt we would see a repeat. Scheffler is in the business of one-upmanship and he won’t get there by copying. Moving on.

Twitter

Well, when the other options dry up, you go straight to the source. In the past few weeks, Tony Scheffler has been retweeting dance suggestions from (semi-)famous people. Last week, he tweeted the following suggestion from country music singer Frankie Ballard:

https://twitter.com/T_Scheff85/status/244186047997689857

Now, I’m not sure Tony Scheffler could execute the impressive dance moves of James Brown. If he can, all the more power to him, but I’ll believe it when I see it. Next.

An then this week…the moment we had all been waiting for. This following tweet was retweeted by Tony Scheffler

https://twitter.com/drewhenson7/status/245583389334335488

Victory. I want to thank all of you readers for doing a great job in making Tony Scheffler aware of this video, as I had begged from you earlier this week. Drew Henson, former Cowboys, Vikings, and Lions QB and New York Yankees 3rd baseman, succeeded in getting the message across, but dude, next time, cite your sources. In case you guys didn’t read my previous piece (shame on you), here’s the video I’m referring to:

Glorious, right? So could it really be happening? Could Tony Scheffler be primed to go Gangnam Style on Sunday Night Football? Perhaps. I mean it’s gotten over 100 million views on youtube in the past month. Psy went on Ellen to teach her how to do the Gangnam Style dance and that video has gotten 10 million views. It’s got mass appeal, it’s practically made for Tony Scheffler, it’s hilarious and recognizable, and he has just been made aware of its existance. So it has to be the dance, right? Or maybe there’s a trump card out there, just waiting for the perfect moment…

Tony Scheffler might need to score twice.

 

Follow me on Twitter @NateWashuta to get blog updates

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